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Today wasn't too bade of a day. i'm getting ticked off at all these flies that don't seem to go away, because I'm looking at about 12 flies right now flying around in my room. I've tried the fly spray, but they still fly around. They don't die till 10 minutes later. Mortein should get their Cockroach spray over in Aussie to be brought over here. Then we won't be wasting our time trying to chase after these dumb flies. Instead they will be 'dropping like flies' should. hahahaha.

Now it's been a couple days without updating how we have been. Dupri is drinking a lot now that I'm filling up the bottles with water every half hour, since that's how long it takes for him to drink it. hhahahaha. He's pretty clever. I put him and his sister in the backyard and locked the gate so that they can't escape. hahaha. But about 2 minutes later, they both come running back into the house. I couldnt figure it out thinking that I didnt lock it properly so I put them out the back again. And lo and behold, they got out again. So again I put them out back and this time I watched from the window. I saw Dupri jump up onto the gate and then unhook the lock and Pearl swinged the gate open. .................................. Clever huh!!!! I'm definately in for trouble with these two.

Pearl is pulling tantrums now. And she hasn't even hit the terrible twos yet. So I'm guessing the attitude will get worse when she does hit the two stage. Her and Dupri fight so much. He will be doing something, and she'll come along and start screaming trying to take that thing that he's playing with off him. But she won't stop screaming, so I go and have a look at whats going on. All I can see is Dupri not sharing, but man, she's learnt pretty fast how to get her own way. Pearl will be doing something that she's not supposed to be doing, and Dupri will come along and start growling her yelling 'Don't touch that, don't touch that'. Kids huh......

I got my first papers for my course, I managed to read thru the first assignment and lesson, but it was a bit of a struggle with the kids wanting attention and fighting with each other. I've been yelling all day. My patience is not even anywhere near where it used to be. I can control it, but I don't want to control it. Even tho I can see what its teaching my kids, I just don't want to change. And I know that it will help lots to try a different way of thinking and speaking, but trying to get my kids to that is pretty tough too. When a certain way, like talkiing softer means nothing to them, it's just a joke. But when you start getting sterner, they kind of listen. It actually takes for you to stand up and start walking over to them for them to stop what they're being growled for. It's soooo annoying. And now that they have that 'no smacking' law in, You feel like you can't discipline your kids in public. I have had heaps of times that my son plays up on me while in public and I talking to him softly is not going ot work, because he's doing a massive tantrum and all you want to do is take him to the car to give him the laying on of hands. I've asked about parenting classes but havent heard back from any of them.
I think it's more the frustration of not being able to have Tangi to lighten the load, Missing him more than anything. There are days where my body literally aches for him, where I don't have any control over it. All I can do is cry. I havent been to the cemetary for a couple weeks now because my car is not drivable at the moment. I'm definately going to spend New Years with my babe at least.

Just now, my daughter Pearl walked across our VERY BUSY road. I didn't know she had done that at all till my mum called out for me. Man, that scared me. Thinking that if these people didn't slow down for her, I couldve lost her.