Its been awhile

Okay, its been a while since I've been regularly writing in here. And a lot has happened since I then too. Well, I think the last entry was about my motherinlaw. I was in Tokoroa when I wrote that.

Honestly, what a headache!!!!

Everything was going really well, Me and Myra (sisinlaw) were looking after Api, making sure she was as comfortable as she could be. I pretty much put myself in charge of her meds and health stuff, while Myra did the more personal things with her mum, like bathing etc. Api was deteriorating very quickly. It got to a point where Api said that things were starting to look a bit strange. I knew from all my research and experience that thats one of the symptoms of the active phase of dying. So I asked Api if she would like a priesthood blessing. I knew that this would most likely be her final blessing. She agreed, so I rang her bishop to come and administer this to her. In the blessing, he mentioned that she would experience great amounts of pain by the cancer, but its nothing that she can't handle. And that all of us who are here to look after her, will be guided so that we can help her the way she needs to be helped. So me and Myra decided that we'd ring and tell the people who we thought really needed to know and go from there. We only rang Aunty Vero (api's sister) and Uncle Teariki (api's brother). This was on Thursday 26th Feb. We got a call from Aunty Vero and they told us that they were coming down straight away. So they got in at about 3am. I woke up at 4.30am to Api screaming out in pain. She was in a whole lot of pain, all in her chest. That was where the cancer was. Me and Myra jumped straight into action and got her pain meds ready. She yelled at us to give them to her, so we jumped and gave the meds to her straight away. I didnt like seeing her like that. But for me, I knew that this was part of the process for her. She started to get a lot weaker, by the time Saturday came, she was too weak to even keep her eyes open for very long. So we put her on her bed, and let her rest. She had been asleep for about 2 hours and me and Myra were just trying to sort the house out. When I got back, they said that her breathing had changed. I knew from there that she was on her way out, but couldnt tell them how long she had. It was now literally a waiting game. Tried to make sure that Api was comfortable. She was too weak. We couldnt touch her because she was in too much pain. At 6.20pm Sat 28th Feb 09, Tereapii took her last breath and died.

For everyone else in the room, this was the first time they had ever seen anyone die. For me, it was my 2nd time. I had already set into motion getting the funeral director notified, the Dr we couldnt get a hold of. so the next thing was to call the ambulance to get them to pronounce her. They said that they couldnt but the police had to do a routine check. One of the police officers who came to the house was actually one of Myra's close friends, she is one of Myras sons godmother. So she hurried the process and did the check. Apparently it's routine for anyone who died at home. So me and Myra both spoke to the police about Api's history and that there were a lot of witnesses that there was no foul play. She died because of her cancer. So that was done and then a whole lot of people started showing up at the house. And most of them were the leaders from the PIC church. (Pacific Island Church). They were actually quite demanding about whats happening, where is she going etc. The family told them whats going to happen, yet they still talked about what kind of services they were going to do. They were talking over one another and were rushing to come to a conclusion. The undertaker rang me back and said that he's willing to take her that night,get her ready and we can dress her, and then bring her back to the house tonight. That was something that everyone agreed on.

I guess what annoyed me most of all, was that no one stopped to ask if she had already made her plans. They just jumped to the conclusion that they had the authority to just take over and do everything to how they see fit. It was very contentious and degrading. Knowing that Tangi and Myra couldnt really sit there and just grieve, they couldnt even get a moment in there to just grieve before the circus started on them. Even the Aunty's (Api's sisters) were getting irritated.

I'm actually getting quite tired writing all this so will probably write the rest when i wake up. ok. oh and the pictures in here, were taken the Thursday 19th Feb when Api was waiting to be discharged from hospital.