Feeling a tiny bit drained but ok

I dont know what it is exactly that makes me feel like I'm doing too much yet not enough. I like to feel constantly busy but i dont seem to have much to do. Weird.!

Anyways, havent done much other than pay bills and more bills. I really want to start getting into fundraising. i've decided that saving for the money is going to be wayy too hard and that I would much rather use that money to be able to go on a holiday or even to fix my car or put a deposit down on a new car. But of course i can't afford a new car, or a holiday. I'm trying to pay off some outstanding debts and then I will have more money to play around with. Having another person to take half the bills did make it easier but harder at the same time. its like as if, when u have a partner or somethng, your bills getting tripled because of whatever debt that they had. And also because of the extra food, power etc. But in reality you do get more money overall. So why is it that you still arent able to save much. Damn life and its never ending bills.

I have had a recurring dream of being on Ellen as a guest for writing a book. I'm still working on that side of things. My dad has always told me that I'm a good short story writer. I'm just working on a couple projects at the moment but can't seem to keep my mind on one track. so im' writing all over hte place and seeing how that goes and then will go back and tidy it up. And I've already got a line of people ready and willing to read what i've written. I've even had an offer for someone to be my publicist. So i'm hoping that I have enough motivation to just finish this book and then see if any publishers are interested in it and see what kinds of pointers they have to offer to make the book better and exciting for people to read. So yeah, i'm a bit tired. so i better get off and try to have a little bit of a rest.

its my dads birthday today he's 59. Geez what a fossilised old hogey he is. And he still bikes too and from work. And cause it's Hastings Stake temple week this week, we've got a house full of people, and my bro fro Aussie is coming over for song fest to be a judge. so much going on yet it feels boring at the same time. how ironic.