Superman and Batman

Pearl had eaten her yoghurt and then made a start onto Dupri's one too. What a piggy!! She was enjoying it like crazy tho.

Superman and Batman LOL

Mannnnn both my kids think that they are either Batman, Superman or Spiderman. Pearl gets into it because Dupri is. So made them some capes yesterday and they went for gold with their capes. The last couple days have been a rollercoaster of feelings. A bit of everything at the moment. I was talking with my sisinlaw yesterday Dionte about what people didnt know about what me and Tangi had to deal with while he was sick.Yeah there was the physical aspect to everything with having to deal with the Leukemia itself. But noone, not even the nurses (only 2 of them) understood that we still had a marriage to try to keep alive. It was hard to have intimacy, I couldnt even hug my husband because he was either too sick, too tired or nurses coming in because they're doing their job, or visitors just not going away. It was really annoying when I would come up to see him and he was tired from the visitors who had come to see him. And he had no energy left for me and the kids. It was hard for a wife, going throughout your marriage of never letting each other go, being able to go to bed with each other and then all of a sudden, he has to stay somewheree else and u can't touch him because he was too sore or too sick to even touch the bed. It even got soo bad with me and Tangi that we both had thoughts about leaving each other thinking that it'll be easier on both of us to apart. Tangi didnt want us to see him go thru his pain, and I didnt want to be alone anymore. We ended up just leaving it for awhile and seeing how things go. My motherinlaw decided that she wanted to stay up with Tangi, that was really hard. She would take the kids out every now and then so that we could have alone time, but compared to having all day with him to only being able to have 5 minutes, it would make me angry. Wanting to talk to him just on my own but always having someoen just sitting there in the room with us. We werent able to have any couple time for a few weeks. No one understood that ourr marriage was still important. I was being told not to talk to my husband anymore because he shouldnt be bothered with anything. For me, it waas like, who the hell are you telling me what i can and cant' do in my own marriage. Get the hell out!!!!!

Me and Tangi spoke about it when he got a bit better. We would have occasional hugs and kisses, but even then it was really hard. Trying to make sure that he could try to bond iwth the kids but he found it really really hard, especially when he couldnt move at all. He couldnt hold the kids, he couldnt lift them up onto the bed himself, he couldnt even console them when they were crying. Most people just dont realise the stresses on a marriage when someone is sick for such a long time. and how hard it is to feel that intimacy which is vital to keeping a marriage alive. I was fine with not being able to have sex ever again. Because I knew it wasnt an option anymore, but to not have ANY intimacy was really hard. I wish things couldve been different. That certain people couldve listened more to us when we told them to leave and to give us space. I would get annoyed at the nurses too because a couple of them were really cold. I got soo annoyed at these few nurses that I asked for them not to anywhere near Tangi. The Physios were really kool, They were very flexible that when we had just arrived to see Tangi, he was able to ask them to come back so that we could have alone time. Tangi was only able to give me the time and energy on his better days, but he always tried his best when he wasnt feeling his best. Our last night together was the bestest feeling that I have ever had in such a long time. Its been almost a year and that was the best time I had with my husband since he got sick. Being able to lie with him again in our own home. It just felt right and I felt safe again. I'm hoping that whoever reads this, can understand some of the feelings that I've had. And the reasons why I was a pretty cold person at times.