Happy New Year

Well I shouldnt really say Happy New Year because I'm not so sure if it will be a Happy one or not. It is the first year that we will spend without Tangi. I got invited to a YSA dance last night. I said maybe not because of my kids but in the end, my friends came and picked me up anyways and took me to the dance.

I was getting all excited to be able to dance and stuff but just not to get into the whole YSA scene. Because I'm not ready for all that. My friends tho, are on the prowl as YSA do, but me, it's a whole different scene now. I felt like one of the old ones. Didn't know some of the songs, didn't know heaps of the people and the ones I did know were either the ones who in my shoes a few years ago or were just starting high school when i left. So yeah, it was a big contrast of people there. I didnt enjoy my time as much as everyone else did. I did feel like a boring old fart tho. Because one of my friends was looking for a really good time, I did warn her tho that I might not be that much fun because my heads not in it. Oh well.

When I did look around, I saw a whole lot of people from school and stuff, that was pretty kool to catch up with a couple of them. Apparently there's a whole lot of YSA from around the place because its the YSA convention or something. So yeah, my friends want to come and get me for the Variety show and stuff just to drag me along. hahaha. They must want me to get into the scene fast or something. Not sure. But at this stage, I'm just wanting to chill and do whatever. I'm not looking at anyone, but if I do, I don't do anything about it.

Now when I was in YSA, I wasnt liked much by many of the girls. I always found it really easy to talk to the guys rather than the girls. I don't tolerate the kind of crap that girls talk about compared to what guys talk about. I love being able to just pick up where you left off and be sweet as friends rather than having to see each other every single day just to maintain a friendship. So yeah, I wasnt liked much by many of the girls. I even had some conflict with my friends because they werent invited to anything because they were friends with me. Now, everytime I saw the boys I would automatically go over ot them and start chatting, the girls didnt like it. I reckon it was jsut cause they were jealous and EXTREMELY territorial. hahahahaha. sounds like animals huh. ahahha.

But when I walked into that dance last night, I knew that a few people knew about my situation and I know that every time I walk into a room full of YSA, they are going to be talking about me just because of what I've gone thru. Now the difference with all this is that I've lived a whole lot more than majority of these YSA. For one, I now know how to control my hormones, hahaha. And that was pretty difficult being in YSA. Hence, why me and Tangi became pregnant before our wedding. My friends even have trouble saying sex, fornication etc. It was wierd because since I've been married and had children, it doesnt faze me anymore. But you know, after being prodded by Dr's, midwives, oncologists, surgeons, breast care specialists etc, I should be sweet as with nearly everything. But anyways, my pregnancies and births are for another blog.

the dance was ok, it was good just to get out. Earlier that day, I asked dad to watch the kids while I went to see a movie on my own. It felt really good to just go and chill out on my own. I went and saw 'Twilight' awesome movie I must say, but then I love the vampire movies, novels and everything. Well the ones with the good love stories and interesting plots. yes i know, i sound a bit like a nerd now. hahaha. Good one Tangi. So anywho, I loved the movie so much that I went and bought the books. I couldnt wait for Kara to send me hers so i just went and bought my own. So I'm waiting for them to be delivered to me. And then I will start reading hard out.

I suppose I need to write down some New Years Resolutions. will do that in the next blog.