Advice Giver

I guess when you've been thru so much you have to have learned a few lessons along the way. A couple of the lessons that I learned, I had to learn the hard way. So, rather than keeping it all to myself, I might as well share them.

1. If you're engaged and wanting to go thru the temple to get married. Don't take longer than a month to get married.

2. If it is going to be longer than a month engagement, then have a plan for each other. Agree with each other to only stay out to a certain time. Never go into each others room. Always make sure that you have the Lord's house as your goal.

3. Love your husband/wife no matter what they do. Unless it's breaking one of the commandments like murder or adultery, then it should be easier to forgive.

4. If you can't forgive them, then at least talk it thru like adults and try to deal with it before making any hasty decisions.

5. Always make time for each other no matter how busy your schedule will become. And be willing to let them go when they need to.

6. Try to always have fun and laugh.

7. Be willing to listen, even when you don't like hearing what's being said.

8. Try putting yourself in their shoes

9. Make sure your husband/wife know that they come first

10. Always put some time away every day, even for an hour for yourself. With nobody but yourself. A movie, a walk, a long bath. Anything that will help you stay sane and remember who you are.

So there you have it, my ten notes of advice. hahaha. I could possibly become the next Dr Phil after all of this. haha. Anyways, I think that these are all pretty important anyways.

My dad was Bishop of the YSA ward, and we always used to talk about the most common things that the YSA would go in and talk to him about. Now, keep in mind that I don't know who any of these people are and have never found out who they were either. He never told me any names but only gave me generalised versions of what the majority were doing.

So, he said that basically 98% of YSA were going to see him about Chastity issues. Now, this does make sense. Because you're finally at that age where there are no parents around, more hot looking guys an girls around and you can pretty much do what you want. You can move out of home and do your own thing. You go to all the conferences and talks and stuff that talk about the law of chastity but nobody ever tells you any specifics. The most specific thing that I was told about was at what point should you stop. Looking back on my life, my advice would be to just not start it in the first place. Holding hands or even the first kiss leads to the 'all the way' part. Especially when thats what you're thinking.

You meet a guy, he's interested. You're interested and all of a sudden all you can think about is doing every nasty under the sun with that person. Lust takes over. Luckily for me and Tangi tho, was that we were in love before lust came into play. We had been friends for a really long time that we were already in love. So yeah, first it started with holding hands. Then it was the first kiss, and then before we knew it, we were in the room. And it was really hard to stop. It was excruciating to stop. We both knew that that was what we had to do, but it was really really hard. It even got to the point, that my flatmates asked Tangi to not stay around anymore because they felt responsible for our wellbeing. I was really ticked off when I found out about that, because it had quite literally been, up until a certain someone moved in, that what goes on in your room, stays in your room. So long and you don't disturb everyone else then sweet as. So thats what we had done. So yeah, i was pretty ticked off.

At the same time, I knew that what we were doing was wrong, especially because we still had another 3 months to go before we got married.

Now the thing about the lead up to our wedding, it was really tough for both of us. We knew that we wanted to be together, we wanted to spend eternity with each other. But Satan was really doing a good job on us. We had nearly everything going against us. When we went to stay at Tangi's folks place, they encouraged us to sleep in the same room. So of course, we didnt say no. When we came home, we were getting the stares and the whispers and the gossiping. And that actually made us cling to each other even more. It wasnt until a couple weeks to the wedding that we both found out what someone who was close to us had done to us, especially Tangi. This person, had been going around and had judged us for what we did. I was pregnant, yes I was feeling concerned about our eternal wellbeing, but I was actually over the moon that I was having a baby. Because I knew that Tangi would be there for me, he wanted it too. This particular person had said stuff about Tangi and me, saying that Tangi had been on a mission and he had standards but now he doesnt. And a lot of other stuff.

When we both heard this, I wanted to march right over to that persons place and punch her in the face and literally wanted nothing to do with her again. Tangi stopped me from doing it, he just said that he was really angry and disappointed and had actually considered breaking up with me because he didnt want to be involved with someone as malicious as that. And even tho I was the one he was marrying, he still has to see this person every now and then. Tangi suprised me immensly when he bought flowers for this person on the morning of our wedding. He had said to me, that he's only human, he makes mistakes too. So really, who are we to judge anyone else. We all make mistakes, on purpose or not, it's still our choice and the mentality leading up to that mistake, nobody else knows but that person. Because at the end of the day, its the person who made the mistake who has to suffer the consequences.

Me and Tangi were put on probation for 6 months. I was ok with that, it just meant that we couldnt participate in anything really. Tangi really found it hard. He found it hard that we couldnt partake of the sacrament, we couldnt offer to do any prayers in church or any activities, we couldnt participate in any activities. We had to miss out because of our mistake. But we made it thru, we were sealed in the Sydney Temple for all time and eternity and our children are sealed to us as well. We wondered what our life wouldve ended up like if we had of had the strength to resist those lustful urges. If we wouldve moved to Sydney, if we still wouldve had Dupri and Pearl. Or if we wouldve got somebody else. If we wouldve had to endure even half the trials that we had to face to the lead up of our wedding. I just hope that you're most willing to be understanding than to judge. I still have a hard time of it now, but I always try my best. Because, I'm still a superwoman in the making, and that's all that matters