A bit weird but u do what u gotta do

I've been down in Tokoroa helping to look after my mother-in-law. It's not that I mind at all. I'm enjoying it, but it's the other stuff that's ticking me off. Just the lack of support from the supposed family. But I guess that they're doing their best so it's just a matter of me changing my attitude about it. Everyone has their reasons to why they make any decision and so, I shouldnt judge what they're going thru. Even tho I'm the inlaw, yet feeling like theyre not doing enough that I want to go in and help. I know that Tangi would be happy that I'm at least making the effort to help and to ring and say hi and stuff. Me and the kids are going back down to Tokoroa tomorrow, which is Tuesday. I've had to ring up Dupri's daycare to let them know that Dupri wont be at daycare on Fridays for the next couple weeks, because we're in Tokoroa. They said that yeah its ok, but if after 3 weeks it's still the same, they're going to give the Friday to someone else. Which I'm gutted over because Dupri loves daycare. And it tires him out really good too. So i'm ticked that he will lose his place.

I'm really starting to stress about not being able to save much at all when it comes to the unveiling. Everything that I'm putting aside, there's always something that comes up that needs to be paid or I'm going to buy food for some members of the family. And even tho it's only February, my goal was to have at least 1300 by April, which I'm not even in the 200 range. Annoying really. I don't have many bills at all. But they're big enough to not be able to save much, if anything at all. Let alone make sure we have food, but I still can only manage to buy lunch food for the kids. With what I get on the Solo mothers benefit, isnt even enough to be able to live on. And I'm only on the DPB because I'm not a widow in the eyes of WINZ. you have to be married for at least 15 years to be classed as a widow. But even then, without Tangi here to help put the benefit up, it's hard to survive on what they give you. It's good that it gives you that incentive to go and get a job. But thats pretty hard to do, with the kids under 5, paying for fulltime daycare is expensive, you end up working just to keep them in daycare. So it ends up being near impossible to go and get a job. Especially at the moment. But i'm sure that'll ease up by the end of the year. well, hopefully.

I'm going to a retreat in a couple weeks, to have some timeout. It's jsut outside of hamilton, on the way to cambridge. It's just for women, and takes only 6 women at a time. It's for those who have either experienced trauma, stress etc. I went for a couple interviews and they agreed that this place would be perfect for me to go to. So they're going to do a stress workshop, to help me, offer some counselling, massages, painting, exercise programmes etc. Its for 4 1/2 days, and it's mostly just relaxing and peaceful. I don't know whether or not I want to take my laptop or not. I probably wont, just so that I dont ruin the whole moment. Or maybe I will. Not sure. We have a chef who makes our meals, all nutricious and it's catered to our individual needs. It's all vegetarian tho, so thats going to be a little bit different. But it sounds really awesome. So can't wait to let you know what it was like.