A New Day...... I guess

So, I've moved into this new place right above coyotes in town. It's a pretty primo location and everything but you have to get used to the music from downstairs on from Thurs to Sat. It's not too bad really, after about an hour you're sweet as to be able to sleep no worries.

And have been slowing down on going out too, which is suprising since I moved right into town and now don't really want to go out all the time. I think as well because I don't have much cash anymore so I'm on a really tight budget. My finances were already strapped but now its even more tighter. Can barely afford to buy any food every week. So I've been applying for jobs to try and get out of this rut that I'm in anyways. Had a few letdowns which really brought my spirits down a lot, but still applied for a couple more.

But I tell ya, writing freaking cover letters to suit the job I'm applying for totally sucks cause it takes so freaking long. You wonder why people on the dole (like myself) don't go to the effort to get a job. It's exhausting. But I'm getting bored at home without the kids being here. And I always keep thinking back to how independent I used to be and I miss it. I always want to know that I have enough income to cover all my expenses and then some to enjoy for a bit.

Goals at the moment: Number one thing is to get a job and go from there.

Getting my kids back is turning into more of a long term thing, I miss them so much but I do need to make sure I've got everything set up again for them to come back and everything run smoothly. I know that I'm going to struggle again with looking after them on my own, just need to breaks every now and then to just relax.

I looked after a mates daughter last weekend, and I found it was exhausting trying to entertain her the entire day and because she has a short attention span, having to change things all the time to keep her occupied, geez, that was a huge kick up my arse when i realised i had forgotten what it's like to look after kids that age. She was awesome to have around and love her asking questions like all kids do but it did make me miss my kids so much more. I want them home and i'm trying to do everything i can to get them back faster.

It's my daughter Pearls birthday in two weeks. Have to make sure I send over her present asap so she gets it in time. I would love to be able to see her face when she opens it up and celebrates her bday. I miss them so much. Kan't wait for them to come back in Christmas for the holidays and just grab them and hold them in my arms for as long as they'll let me. But anyways, I think this is enough for today.

Kiaora

Latest Update

So its been a hell of a long as time since I've blogged. Since the last one, I've moved back home to mum and dads place out the back right next to the garage. The kids have moved over to Zappa and Karas place in Australia and they're loving it there. But I've spoken to them lately and they're asking to come home. My poor babies. Dupri is now 4 years old and Pearl is still 2. Turns 3 in September. Freaking awesome that they're growing up so fast. There's so much i want to do with them but finding it hard to even get myself into gear to be a better mother. I've gotten in touch with Fusion dance Company again and going to go and have a look at one of their practices. I know it'll take me awhile to get back into it properly becuase I'm so out of shape but hey, it's still a good start. And its a hobby, something other than just drinking every week. I will be doing soemthing i love to do which is dancing. But other than that, things are going ok I guess.