Pearl has been sick since about 9.30pm. She's been throwing up every half hour and we have gone thru 4 big blankets, 3 pillows, 3 changes of clothes, all the wet wipes, one shower and 3 sheets. So now, I've made her sleep on the floor because I dont' want to change our bed stuff again. So i put a blanket down and a pillow and then doubled the blanket over. So if she throws up again, out comes the other blanket. After the last spew up, took her inside and gave her a shower and she's all nice and clean. it's now 3.09am and i'm exhausted but dont want to go to sleep just yet in case she wakes me up with her spew sounds and stink spew smell. Geez. i am ticked anyways with the amoount of washing i'm going ot have to do tomorrow. My poor daughter. Ah well, she'll sleep in tomorrow thats for sure. had to put our oil heater on so that we're all warm with only one blanket on since she's dirtied all of the spare ones. lol.
I felt so busy today and yesterday. Dropped dupri at daycare this morning, went straight to the chapel and practised on a couple songs for young womens for about 2 hours. then went home and did more washing. cleaned and scrubbed our room while waiting for the washing to be done. made some lunch and then went picked up dupri from daycare and then put the kids to sleep. i sat down for a little bit and ended up being woken up at 2.30pm by my bro who was there to pick up the kids. so they left and then i did the ironing of most of the clothes that i needed then showered and shot off up to the temple and did 2 sessions. I'm am actually feeling quite exhausted and tired but I'm just trying ot be a good mother to my sick little girl. so thats why 'm still awake. anyways, have felt pretty busy the last few days. last night after the temple, i was feeling a little hungry so went and got some chinese. i had the first bite and i felt sick. but kept eating because i didnt want to waste my money. yeah it was pretty gross. the food was yum but just the greasy taste and feeling was a bit gross. so tonite i got subway instead. and it went down a whole lot better. so i thought that if i can't make it at home then subway will by the alternative to the other fast foods. i have been sticking to not drinking fizzy. i have been drinking juice and water instead. And i havent had any icecream or BK, McDees or KFC. So i think i'm doing pretty well. I havent lost much weight but someone commented to me today that i have lost a little bit of weight. when i told them that i still weigh the same, she asked if i'm getting smaller anyways. and i must admit that yeah i am starting to fit a little better into some of my new skirts and stuff. so thats a good thing. and i'm looking a whole lot better in the more fitting stuff instead of looking so bloated and pregnant. hahaha. and no i'm not pregnant. geez@!!!
Anyways, I think its safe to go to sleep now.. My daughter hasnt woken up yet.
Oh, before i forget. One of my social workers, i have 2 that visit me at a time. and one of them asked me if i'm dating yet. andd then he started naming a few guys who were RM's. My gosh, I just didnt want to know. People think that it's so easy to start dating again. its taking a lot for me to even go to YSA activities. Most of it is that I do feel guilty like i'm cheating on Tangi somehow. Even tho he's not here, I still feel married to him and i really feel that i'm not at that stage yet where i feel comfortable to date again. I'm just doing things in my own time.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
May Resolutions
Ok. I have made some resolutions that will hopefully help me achieve the bigger goals.
1. Given up eating icecream.
2. Giving up on fizzys tomorrow. haha. Yes I will only drink either juice or water.
3. Give up McDonalds, Burger King and KFC tomorrow onwards.
Hopefully that will help to manage my weight a bit easier. Now I've been told that I'm not fat. But I dont think theyre seeing properly. hahaha. Well, I used to weigh 65kgs and now I sway around 80 - 85kgs. Yeah thats a pretty huge gain. Especially when I dont look that good in my clothes anymore. I used to fit into size 12 -10 and now I'm squeezing into 14-16 sometimes 18. It's not exactly a big morale booster.
I'm really enjoying my calling as YW secretary. I feel really busy with my calling. Getting to know the YW a whole lot better. They're really good and have a lot to say. Just had another change in our vicinity and have a new leader. She's pretty awesome and a bit overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility for her. But she's gonna do an awesome job.
Oh, I am also going to be making more of an effort to get back into making salads again. They're yummy, I really like making marinated chicken salad. It's yummy and tasty so I would really love to keep having that for lunch to help get my body a bit healthier.
Temple week this week. So I've got my babysitters all lined up. So I have to try and get to the gym too.
My next goal to make up a timetable for my everyday things and to stick to it. Well, I have no problems making timetables. It's the sticking to it part that I really have a hard time with. I guess its not enough motivation to keep me wanting to stick to it or not. Oh and laziness too. So, if i want to keep my mind light and happy I need to stick to what I've planned. A little bit of spontanuiety isnt a bad thing but not all the time. hmmm.
well I'm going thru some more of Tangi's things. Went down to Tok on Friday for a couple hours and went through Tangi's room. His family want to get his stuff out of the house because he's not here anymore and there's not much use in keepiing it around. which i agree with, but now i have to sort through everything again. It was a lot easier to go through this stuff becuase I didnt know him then. It was things from his mission. Letters and journals etc. It's the stuff that we left over in Australia that I'm going to have a hard time going thru. Even the cards that we got from his funeral that are addressed to me and the kids, I can't look at them yet. It's too hard to look at them without balling furiously. So, I'm going to wait until I'm ready to do that. I've got all his clothes here that we were able to bring over. I can't bring myself to give them away yet. In some ways, I want our kids to be able to have something of his. So that they can feel a little bit closer to their dad. Tangi had a folder that had all the photos and details of the missionaries who served the same time as Tangi did in the Wellington mission. And I showed Dupri the entire page without pointing out that his dad was on there. And he was looking at it, and then he said ' Daddy' I asked him, where is daddy, and he pointed right at him. 'There is daddy, where mum'. He's a bit young to understand that they were mission photos but he knew exactly who his dad was. and I was really happy that they still remember. I kinda try to drone it into them. I never want them to ever forget their Dad.
1. Given up eating icecream.
2. Giving up on fizzys tomorrow. haha. Yes I will only drink either juice or water.
3. Give up McDonalds, Burger King and KFC tomorrow onwards.
Hopefully that will help to manage my weight a bit easier. Now I've been told that I'm not fat. But I dont think theyre seeing properly. hahaha. Well, I used to weigh 65kgs and now I sway around 80 - 85kgs. Yeah thats a pretty huge gain. Especially when I dont look that good in my clothes anymore. I used to fit into size 12 -10 and now I'm squeezing into 14-16 sometimes 18. It's not exactly a big morale booster.
I'm really enjoying my calling as YW secretary. I feel really busy with my calling. Getting to know the YW a whole lot better. They're really good and have a lot to say. Just had another change in our vicinity and have a new leader. She's pretty awesome and a bit overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility for her. But she's gonna do an awesome job.
Oh, I am also going to be making more of an effort to get back into making salads again. They're yummy, I really like making marinated chicken salad. It's yummy and tasty so I would really love to keep having that for lunch to help get my body a bit healthier.
Temple week this week. So I've got my babysitters all lined up. So I have to try and get to the gym too.
My next goal to make up a timetable for my everyday things and to stick to it. Well, I have no problems making timetables. It's the sticking to it part that I really have a hard time with. I guess its not enough motivation to keep me wanting to stick to it or not. Oh and laziness too. So, if i want to keep my mind light and happy I need to stick to what I've planned. A little bit of spontanuiety isnt a bad thing but not all the time. hmmm.
well I'm going thru some more of Tangi's things. Went down to Tok on Friday for a couple hours and went through Tangi's room. His family want to get his stuff out of the house because he's not here anymore and there's not much use in keepiing it around. which i agree with, but now i have to sort through everything again. It was a lot easier to go through this stuff becuase I didnt know him then. It was things from his mission. Letters and journals etc. It's the stuff that we left over in Australia that I'm going to have a hard time going thru. Even the cards that we got from his funeral that are addressed to me and the kids, I can't look at them yet. It's too hard to look at them without balling furiously. So, I'm going to wait until I'm ready to do that. I've got all his clothes here that we were able to bring over. I can't bring myself to give them away yet. In some ways, I want our kids to be able to have something of his. So that they can feel a little bit closer to their dad. Tangi had a folder that had all the photos and details of the missionaries who served the same time as Tangi did in the Wellington mission. And I showed Dupri the entire page without pointing out that his dad was on there. And he was looking at it, and then he said ' Daddy' I asked him, where is daddy, and he pointed right at him. 'There is daddy, where mum'. He's a bit young to understand that they were mission photos but he knew exactly who his dad was. and I was really happy that they still remember. I kinda try to drone it into them. I never want them to ever forget their Dad.
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