The Beginning of a new life

I feel that I am beginning to start a new life with my children. I'm feeling a little nervous but ecstatic that I'm allowed to have this chance to move on with my children. They make me laugh, smile, angry, mope, tired, crazy and yet I can't live without them. I'm feeling lonely but am loving my life. I always wished that Tangi was still here to share this with me. That we could be able to spend our life together. I can't take his wedding rings off yet, it feels too good on my fingers hehe. Anyways, I've got to go now because I'm dropping my kids off at my Brothers place and then off to the temple.

I am feeling a whole lot better and am thinking about ending this blog. It's more because I feel like I've come thru everything that I was feeling and going thru. I feel like I don't have this heavy weight pressed down on me anymore. I actually feel like I am moving on with all the issues that I have written about. The issues that had me for the last few years. I'm not over my husband but I do know that I have a life to get on with. I'm not going keep putting things on hold because I'm feeling sad. Getting out there for me has been the best thing, because it's helped to stop be so selfish and worry about whats really important. I've got the same ideas and perspectives but have just added onto what I already thought and felt. I don't resent those that I had a bit of conflict with, I don't feel that I have to please everyone, I don't feel that I have to be so angry all the time. I actually feel really happy with what I have achieved. I feel like I can do whatever I want. I had accomplished a really important goal just recently and it was something that I have been working on for quite a while. And I achieved it. It was exhilirating to know that I have come so far and I wanted to celebrate with my family and friends. But came to the conclusion that this was my happy news and I will share it with my children. Yes, I am trying to make some new friends so that I can get back out into the socialising circle. Will be a little bit difficult but hey, I think it's going to be worth it and worthwhile. I know that what I'm going to experience in the next 15-20 years are going to be a brand new chapter on my life. I just feel so wonderful.