Day 3

Last night I had a pretty good sleep. Was able to just put my head on the pillow and out i went. So that was pretty good. I passed on the gentle excercise session today and just relaxed in the room. I finished the book ' to kill a mockingbird'. It was pretty good. Went into the ballroom and had a 'clay' session. made a couple things but nothing that great. then we went out into the garden and had to write to ourselves in the future. I dated mine 17 september 2010. Just so that I could be more realistic as to how things would be in a years time. So that was a good excercise. Then lunch, had toasted sandwiches, which had veges and tofu in it. mmm. and then had a long break so had a little nap and read a little bit and then i went for another massage. Today's one felt really good, she had a different style to the lady on monday. so it felt really good. had a nice long hot shower afterwards to get the oils off my skin, cause my skin is already oily and adding more just makes me break out. Had dinner which was quite nice and started on a 1000 piece puzzle, which i'm thinking about just packing up because I wont be finished by friday. I rang Dupri and Pearl this evening because I miss them. And knowing me, when I get home it'll be 'go away' gosh. hahaha. Man, i miss those two gremlins. they really make my day. Every night when i put them to bed, pearl comes and gives me endless kisses and always ends it with a 'lav yooo'. hehehe translation means 'love you'. and dupri always chucks in a 'nose' which is nudge each others noses before he says love you and hops into bed. I really miss giving them cuddles. i make them cuddle me haha because i love it. they bring so much hapiness into my life, even when most days i just cant get out of my crabby mood. so yeah thats pretty much been my day today so far. not that much going on, just relax, relax, relax and oh, did i say relax. yeah. well.

2nd day at the monastery

Day 2

Last night I didnt sleep that well at all. First of all, I couldnt even get to sleep. It took a few attempts to even be able to keep my eyes closed because I was already exhausted but obviously my body didnt want to sleep. When I did finally get to sleep I kept waking up. So I had a pretty restless night last night. The bed was really comfortable tho. So this morning, had toast and homemade organic jam. Had an excercise workshop which was basically just a theory based excercise thing. It was good. Trying to find ways in how I can get more excercise at home to help me feel a whole lot better. And then straight after that had a nutrition workshop which was talking about what foods have what things in them. And what not to eat so much of and how to balance our nutrician. It was really informative. We had lunch, which was vegetarian burrito's. I had about 4 because i was starving by about then. I'm still trying to get used to this diet because I think my body is cleansing itself out with all this organic and healthy diet that they give. I then had reflexology on my feet and the therapist said that I have tense shoulders and neck area and my back is tender because of my posture. And she gave me some stuff that might help me to sleep. It's lavendar, rose and gold and they put it on a cloth and when i'm about to go to sleep to put it on my heart. They say that gold is what the sun is made out of and our body draws its strength from the sun so it makes sense to put that nearer to our hearts to help cleanse it. So, i'm going to try it out tonight. After that I had a little time to myself and then had a counselling session. It was really good to just talk about myself for a change and have someone actually listen to what i'm saying. she said that I am doing well with coping with whats happened in my life and that my way of thinking is extremely good. My head is in a good place and I've learnt a whole lot thru my experiences. And despite what others have done to me, i'm still trying to maintain my relationship with those people. so i thought that was pretty kool that she saw that from what i told her. Told her about my sleeping, which hasnt been that good for about a year, well since tangi was diagnosed. Actually i think a month or two before that but yeah, about a year. And she suggested to have a bath before, so the staff are getting a lavendar bath ready for me with candles and everything. awesome huh!!!! I'm reading the book ' To kill a mocking bird'. I've heard lots of people refer to this book in various things and thought, well since i'm here, i might as well read it since i won't hire it out at a library. And I must say that it is an interesting book. set in the 1930s in South Alabama when the blacks were slaves. its' interesting and not what i thought it would be like. so if you pick it up at all, then i suggest that you have a go at it. it's nothing like 'twilight' but hey, its still interesting. hahaha.

My first day at the Monastery

I got here at about 10am. I drove down the driveway and it actually has quite a sharp turn and it goes down to the house. The driveway is lined with beautiful huge trees and shrubs everywhere. I got to the house and was greeted by one of the awesome staff here. They are soo friendly and understanding. She showed me to my room. It's called the 'Kingfisher' Room becuase of the portrait of a kingfisher in it. I've got my own ensuite which is awesome. They had morning tea waiting for me and a footbath. Man, it smelt like lavendar and something else that just smelt soooo yum. so i had a 15 minute footbath and just relaxing in the sun on this comfy as seat in my room. And then after that, we got to have a talk about what to expect throughout the rest of the day and also for the rest of the week. And just to utilise this time here as time especially for me. So I'm already feeling blown away by what we'd done already. Lunch was served and it was 'lentil and bean soup'. It was quite yum, it was accompanied with wheat bread and gluten-free bread (for the other guest here, yes there is only two of us. awesome aye!!) with pesto which was yum. I think i ate most of the pesto. And then there was a salad for afterwards with vinigrette dressing. I went and had a nap after lunch becuase I was feeling a bit exhausted and weathered. Someone came in and woke me up becuase it was 4pm. So I got up and had a little chat with one of the staff, and she just made sure that I still wanted what I had asked for at my first assessment. I said yes, i still want to have a relaxing time and unwind and have me time. She told me that i was booked into a massage this afternoon. So the massage therapist did an assessment with me and then we went into the 'Rose room'. The massage was quite sore in some parts, but felt awesome when she was finished. She said that I had a lot of tension in my shoulders. Its apparently the most common place for women to hold their stress. It sounds right that!! And then dinner was ready. We had 3 courses, roast vegetables (capsicum, and other stuff), this wheat stuff with salmon and bean sprouts, carrots and beans. Pudding was Pear with Ricotta cheese and a bit of chocolate. It was yum, and yes, they cook vegan which i dont mind. i'm all for experiencing a different thing at the moment. So I had a shower and then came into the 'Ballroom' and had a meditation session which was for about 10 minutes and now i'm on here writing about it. The rest of the week is quite full on with the schedule that they gave us but I don't have to do every single thing if i don't want to. It still will be relaxing as ever and also beneficial to my wellbeing, so i dont mind doing it to help me come home as a better and more aware person. Even just having a 10 minute chat to the other lady that is here has been nice. She's an elderly woman and feeling the strain of being lonely. She's actually quite an independent woman but has experienced a lot of grief in her life and it's all catching up with her. It's the same with me. I just feel that my outlets havent been that beneficial but that i've been bottling most of it up because i have no choice but to move on for the sake of my children. and the pressures from other people for me to move on. Even tho i can see where they're coming from, it still doesnt seem right becuase they havent gone thru this yet. And it'll be interesting to see what happens when it is their turn. Because it is going to happen to every single one of us, losing the person you love most in the world. It's just that, my time has come a whole lot earlier than everyone else. Even my own family. Only my nanny can relate to me. Well, I can honestly say that yes, i am enjoying myself thus far. The building is really beautiful and the grounds are beautiful too. I'm going to take some photos tomorrow to take home and put on here. But won't put anything up until i get home on Friday. I'm not missing my kids yet, but mostly because i know that they're ok.